Why you should make love with your man – 1. Being a
mother , one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood, can
often leave a girl feeling stripped of her femininity. There is
something about being covered in spit up and attending to
the every need of another human being that makes one feel
distinctly gender neutral.
Most of my days are spent playing with dolls, wiping baby
food off of my clothes, changing diapers, wiping snot off of
my clothes, going to the park, and wiping what-the-
heavens-is-that off of my clothes. There is something
restorative about kissing the boy you love. There are times
in Riley’s arms when I remember who I am before I even
realize I have forgotten. Yes, I am a cook, cleaner, teacher,
and wiper of all things disgusting. But I am also something
more, something delightful and completely apart from my
roles. I am a woman! And there is potential and depth and
heck, I am pretty darn good kisser, too. It is a lovely thing,
finding yourself through the touch of someone else.
2. If you want your husband to act like a man, you need to
treat him like a man. Hold the eye rolls. I am not pushing
for a return to the 1950′s. (Although, heaven knows an era
in which low rise jeans did not exist is basically alright by
me.) Women need any number of criteria met to feel loved.
Men are far simpler. They need to be fed, they need to be
appreciated, and they need to have sex. That is it. Really.
So make or order dinner once in a while. Say thank you for
the long hours spent at work with a hug and smile when he
walks through the door each night. (Better yet? Smile as
you hand him the kids and walk out the door for a long,
much needed break.) And my goodness, let the poor man
see you naked. It is astounding what a good man will do
for a good woman that has made him feel loved. After a
few weeks of meals and make outs, you will sit back and
wonder why you didn’t insist on having sex every night
sooner. Talk about a small investment and big returns.
3. You need to have a moment in each day that is just
about the two of you. Remember that boy? The one that
made your heart thump and hands sweat? The one that
called when you hoped he would, that made you run hot
and high up to the stars until you thought you would never
come down? He is still there. Under the years and bills and
worries, that smiling boy is still in love with and needs his
smiling girl. Every night after the kids go to bed is a
chance to find him again. A moment to remind yourself that
you are living a picket fenced adventure and my goodness,
there is nothing the two of you can’t do.
4. S-ex relieves stress . I don’t know that this one needs
much explanation. As a mother I eat stress for breakfast.
So it seems to me I have a choice. I can let off steam by A)
driving around at night and bashing in strangers mailboxes
or B) I can get down and dirty with that one guy I married
that one time. I choose option B. (So far the mailboxes in
my neighborhood have escaped unscathed, so Option B
must be working.)
5. It is so much blasted fun. Seriously. Why are we so
quick to refuse the good things in life? We will slog through
our children’s Algebra homework, do Zumba in public and
pluck the hair from our body ONE PIECE AT A TIME . But tell
a girl to have sex every night and she looks at you like you
are crazy, An orgasm? Every night? What do I look like? A
Nymphomaniacal Super Woman?
Where is the logic in that?
Are we really too busy doing dishes to participate in an
activity that is so good it has inspired genius (that saucy
Shakespeare) and changed history (Okay, Helen of Troy,
we get it. You were super hot)? My goodness, what a crazy
way to live. Ladies, did it ever occur to you (to us!) that we
should have sex because WE DESERVE IT?
Yeah, you deserve it.
So, tonight put the kids to bed. Leave the dishes in the sink
and the floors unswept. They will wait. Take a moment to
remember that you are the girl you hoped you would be and
then go find that boy and remind him that he is the man you
knew he could be.
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